Breast-feeding journey

So those of you who know me well ... know that I am passionate about a few things .... one of them being BREASTFEEDING!

I LOVE breast feeding my children ... there are so many things that I love about it! Of course, there are the health benefits for them, but my favorite is just the connection that it brings as a mommy!

I never read even one book on breast feeding .... not because I thought I knew it all, I just figured it would come naturally (since it is a natural thing:) ... I also was so committed to breast feeding that I knew baby and I could make it work.

I was so blessed! My first baby latched on with no difficulty and nursed every 1 1/2-2 hours for almost a year (seriously, the kid still doesn't sleep) ... he loved to nurse! And although I did get mastitis and breast infections multiple times (8 to be exact!) due to having an overproduction issue ... I still kept on because I knew it was best for my child and also for myself.

When my second baby came ... we also had a great nursing relationship ... And because I knew my history of overproduction ... I was able to pump over 300oz a month (yes, you read that right) in order to avoid any infections ... it worked and I was able to help another mommy who needed milk for her baby:) And Quinn ... well, Quinn LOVED to nurse too:)

Then came baby #3 ... my dear Lochlan Raymond ....

He also loved nursing when he was born ... and was quite happy for about four months .... however, my production was certainly not what it had been with past babies. I really didn't think much about it as I was able to provide for him. I really only had time to pump minimally anyway. And then suddenly at about five months ... little Lochlan was not a happy little boy and wanted more to eat ... and I didn't have enough milk.

We are continuing to struggle with breast feeding and it has been a stressful journey that has brought me to tears many times:( But I am committed to make this work ...

I have done all the things that you are supposed to do to increase milk supply (I did the opposite with the other boys:) and have not had much luck. I continue to work hard at it ... and am thankful that today is the first day in a long time that I have not had to supplement ANY other milk ... I am so grateful ... since he has allergies to any of the other formulas or milks that we have tried.

As I have prayed and am struggling through this ...I have realized that as a mother I want to provide what is best for my baby and I will do whatever it takes ... and yet how much more God loves me and want to care and provide for me (although he doesn't struggle to do it ... rather I struggle to let him care for me:)

So as I struggle on this journey ... I am learning to let my Abba Father and Provider care for me!

Breast-feeding my little man!!!